10 Random Poker Quotes

• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• Welcome to kicker school
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."