10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "No river, no fish."
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.