10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"