10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• God is kind to the underdog! C.A.A
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.