10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo