10 Random Poker Quotes

• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen