10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Sucking out won't help you. The only cure for stupidity is losing. -- The BRICK --
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Fook the floosh droo!
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.