10 Random Poker Quotes

• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.