10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• "No river, no fish."
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"