10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes