10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.