10 Random Poker Quotes

• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"