10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright