10 Random Poker Quotes

• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"