10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"