10 Random Poker Quotes

• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!