10 Random Poker Quotes

• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm