10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim