10 Random Poker Quotes

• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.