10 Random Poker Quotes

• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• in the poker game of life women are the rake