10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.