10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament