10 Random Poker Quotes

• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• I'm enough of a dreamer to realize it might have been that elusive something a gambler calls luck. But, I'm also enough of a realist to know that in general we make our own luck - through knowledge, skill and experience.- Doyle Brunson
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.