10 Random Poker Quotes

• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.