10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.