10 Random Poker Quotes

• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris