10 Random Poker Quotes

• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Sucking out won't help you. The only cure for stupidity is losing. -- The BRICK --
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen