10 Random Poker Quotes

• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!