10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet