10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz