10 Random Poker Quotes

• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?