10 Random Poker Quotes

• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen