10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.