10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Why not, when some because there are three.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.