10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Fold and live to fold again