10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones