10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Fook the floosh droo!
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris