10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• "The lucky player is usually the player that knows how much to leave to chance." flintsword
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.