10 Random Poker Quotes

• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Poker is for loners.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.