10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."