10 Random Poker Quotes

• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)