10 Random Poker Quotes

• "No river, no fish."
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."