10 Random Poker Quotes

• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."