10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• I'm enough of a dreamer to realize it might have been that elusive something a gambler calls luck. But, I'm also enough of a realist to know that in general we make our own luck - through knowledge, skill and experience.- Doyle Brunson
• "No river, no fish."
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977