10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.