10 Random Poker Quotes

• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• In order to live, you must be willing to die - Amir Vahedi