10 Random Poker Quotes

• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.