10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs