10 Random Poker Quotes

• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.