10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• This site pulls more flushes than a public restroom!!!
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from